Autumn internationals 2010

England see a good deal of value in these annual "hit-outs" against the world's most celebrated invitation team, coming as they do before testing end-of-season visits to the southern hemisphere. Unfortunately for this Australia-bound party, the latest Barbarian combination were all "out" and no "hit" for much of the proceedings at Twickenham yesterday evening. Not only did they miss tackles the average rugby-playing infant might have expected to make, they also showed a distinct lack of interest in trying to make them in the first place.

Between them, the uncapped South African lock Ross Skeate and the similarly undecorated Australian full-back Paul Warwick did everything in their power to present Martin Johnson's side with cheap points, as did two colleagues who know what it is to play Test rugby and should therefore have made a better fist of it: the French centre Florian Fritz (18 international appearances) and the World Cup-winning Leicester second-rower Ben Kay. By the time they had floundered around like four fillets of wet halibut, the soon-to-be tourists were 20 points up and out of sight.

Autumn Internationals Hospitality

England V South frica Hospitality

But they faded, along with everyone else. Amid half-hearted Mexican waves and desultory choruses of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", England proceeded to construct a sow's ear from a silk purse, conceding possession, territory and tries in the most alarming of manners. David Smith, an unusually strong wing from New Zealand, and Census Johnston, a ridiculously strong prop from Samoa, both crossed, transforming a 32-7 deficit into something much more intriguing.

When Sackey took advantage of some high-class work from Cedric Heymans to bag his second try late on, England found themselves praying for close of play. They were a sorry sight: disorganised, lumpen and depressingly short of ideas, they looked increasingly helpless against a ragbag a collection of demob-happy bar-room carousers. The final whistle saved them, which just about said it all.

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